Email Counselling

A short guide for new clients

Welcome

I am pleased to hear that you are interested in getting started with some email counselling with me.

As this could be new to you, I have written this guide to help you through the process.

Email counselling will likely feel very different to other counselling you may be familiar with. Or perhaps you have never had counselling before?

Email counselling can be very powerful and helpful to many. There is a lot more flexibility with email therapy as it gives you a chance to think about your responses. I will help you to get started so you can get the most out of your sessions. 

Your introductory Email Session

The first email exchange is an introductory session, and this gives you a chance to see how it feels to write to me and receive a first email reply from me. 

This also allows me to get a sense of what kind of support you are looking for which helps me to make sure I am the right person to help. As it is important that you feel comfortable with your counsellor, there is no commitment at this stage. 

What do I write?

In your introductory email it is helpful to:

• Share about any other experience of counselling that you may have had? It is helpful to know whether the experience was helpful/unhelpful? How long was this for? Was this in person or online? 
• What has drawn you towards trying email counselling? Have you had this before? 
• Share a little bit around some of the main issues that you are facing and are looking for some support with. 
• Share what outcomes you are hoping to get from the counselling.
• Ask me any questions you may have. (There may be information on my website that covers some of your questions).

Please note that there is a word limit of 500 words which helps to keep our emails sessions boundaried.

What happens next?

You can send your introductory email to me at donnachestercounselling@protonmail.com

by the agreed day/time that suits you. This will be confirmed via email.

I will then follow this up with my therapeutic email response 2 working days later. (There will be an agreed date/time for this also confirmed via email).

After this, if you would like to start counselling with me, just get back in touch. I will then respond and get you booked in for weekly email exchanges. 

What do I have to write in my emails?

The sessions are yours to write about whatever feels helpful to you at the time. You are welcome to write about any subject and it doesn’t have to relate directly to my last email if you don’t feel it is necessary. 

It is flexible, and you don’t need to stick to the topics that were mentioned in our introductory session. As these are your sessions, you can bring up other topics at any point. 

You may feel it is helpful to reflect on how you have been feeling, or any thoughts that you have been having around the issues that you are wanting support from me with. Perhaps you may have observed some changes from our first session that you feel is helpful to mention.

Perhaps you might like to pick up on what I had written about in the last email. You are free to ask me any questions if something doesn’t make sense to you or I have misunderstood you. 

Remember the word limit of 500 words 

When to write your email?

Email counselling gives you a lot of flexibility. You are able to write your emails at a time that suits you each week.

I recommend that you carve out around an hour each week so you can write your email. You can do this whenever is convenient for you, just as long as you send this back to me by the agreed time and day.

It is important to choose a time to write when you are not going to be interrupted. A traditional counselling session would be in a confidential space with no interruptions. It is still important for you to be able to focus on what you are wanting to say.

When to send your email?

As long as your email is in my inbox at the agreed time/day, you can send your email anytime that suits you. It may be helpful to set a reminder for yourself, so you don’t miss the deadline.

I arrange my diary so that I have weekly slots to respond to your emails; therefore, if your email arrives late it will count as a cancelled session.

For some people they find that making notes throughout the week is helpful. They can then write their email on the evening it is due. Other people write their email in the last hour before it is due. Do what feels right for you and reflect on whether this works for you.

There is no need to go back and edit what you have written. It is better to write as naturally as possible what is on your mind. This means the email will contain more emotion rather than just facts which can end up being all that remains after editing. Having a more natural email means that I can convey a better understanding and offer a more effective therapeutic reply.

When to read my response?

As I mentioned before, it is important that you carve out a suitable time to read my response in a safe, confidential space with no interruptions.

I would recommend that you allow yourself 30 minutes each week to read, reflect, and if you like, make notes on my reply. 

Please try to resist the urge to read my email as soon as it arrives. Again, in traditional therapy sessions, you would be in a safe, confidential space and this is no different, so please don’t be tempted to read my reply upon delivery. Make sure you are somewhere you will be uninterrupted.

Although we agree a day/time when I will send my reply, I often send my email earlier in the day. There is no set time my email will arrive as I enjoy the flexibility in my workload to respond at a time that works well for me. 

My responses

I will respond to emails by

• Taking time to process and reflect on your words before composing my reply
• Sticking to the same word limit of 500 words. There may be times when there is not enough space for me to respond to everything you have brought up in your email, but I do my best to notice themes between your words and respond to the overall sense of what is going on for you.
• Sometimes referring to an email from earlier if I am aware something is relatable and may help with the email exchanges.
• Posing questions in some of my replies. There is no expectation to have these answered in your reply to me, but you can if you want. Sometimes these are useful as a reflective tool. 

The use of P.S

Using P.S at the end of a letter usually adds words to the bottom of a letter that has already been written.

In my therapeutic emails I use P.S when I want to add a practical note. Eg, informing you of holiday dates or a fee increase.

If you have any practical notes like these (including if perhaps you wanted to switch to video call at any point) then please use the ‘P.S’ for this.

The P.S must be kept short and factual, and it doesn’t count as part of our 500 word limit. 

Endings

You are welcome to have as many counselling sessions as you wish. Some people I work with only stay for a few months, many stay for 6 months to a year and others stay for many years. It may feel odd to think about the endings when you are right at the beginning, but it’s an important part of the counselling process so I want to make sure you have all the information you will need.

We won’t know how long will be helpful for you right now, but it’s important to remind you that you are always in control and can choose to end the sessions when you like. All I ask is that we agree to a minimum of 2 sessions notice to give us a chance to reflect on the sessions and how you might cope going forward.

With email counselling, because each session is an email exchange that you initiate and I respond to, this will mean that I will be writing the last email. We will take time to prepare for this and how you may feel about not being able to reply.

The advantages of email counselling means that you will have a copy of all our emails which you can choose to keep if you like.